


Mute

by NeverHadThePlot



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mute Sirius, Past Child Abuse, Protective James, Protective Remus Lupin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-24
Updated: 2016-03-24
Packaged: 2018-05-28 19:19:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6341863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeverHadThePlot/pseuds/NeverHadThePlot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius runs away from home after being tortured. He moves in with the Potters and no longer feels like talking. This is the story of how James and Remus adapt to help their friend as Sirius slowly recovers. Also a Remus/Sirius get together fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“C’mon mate, say something.” James begged, sitting in front of Sirius on his bed. Sirius blinked at him and grimaced a little. He’d been at the Potters for three days now and hadn’t uttered a single word. That was how he had survived at home. Keep your head down, be silent, don’t exist. He’d made a mistake though, opened his mouth, and they’d carved their displeasure into his skin. He had escaped, and now he must be quiet, so he wouldn’t disappoint the Potters too.

James sighed as he watched Sirius curl in on himself again and ran a hand through his messy hair. “Okay, you don’t have to talk. We both know I talk enough for the two of us anyway.” He forced a smile onto his face and Sirius’ lips twitched in response, his eyes lighting up in a slight amusement. “Do you wanna play chess?”

Sirius’ smile grew a little more, and he nodded. Relieved, James jumped off the bed and ran to get the set. “Do you want to be black or white?” He asked, to which Sirius simply raised an eyebrow. James huffed, “that’s not fair, you always get to be white!” They had never needed words to communicate.

Sirius shrugged. “Alright fine, it’s not like I ever win anyway.” James whined and Sirius huffed a silent laugh.

They were on their fifth game when Remus arrived. “Moony!” James yelled, bounding to his feet to engulf their friend in a hug, “I’m glad you could make it, I’m sick of losing to him.”

“Hey Prongs,” Moony greeted in his token amused voice as he hugged James back, “hey Siri.” He said as James released him.

Sirius shifted a little, curling his knees up to his chest nervously as he waved in greeting. Remus frowned a little, but didn’t comment. “So, what’ve you guys been doing?”

“Well, lazy ass over here has been sleeping all day,” James said, bouncing onto his bed and ruffling his hair. Sirius batted his hand away. “So I’ve actually started that potions homework- me, actually doing homework! Then we played some chess when he finally woke up.”

“Are you ill James?” Moony asked, pressing his hand to Prongs’ forehead as he sat beside Sirius, “working in the holidays?”

“What? I was bored,” James whined. “What took you so long to get here?”

“Our floo broke down, mum had to drive me an hour to the nearest public one,” Remus said, automatically sliding an arm round Sirius’ waist as the boy leant against his side. It was something the two had grown accustomed to doing when the other was in pain.

“Man, that sucks. Why couldn’t your dad apparate you?”

“He was at work when I got your message,” he said, then turned his attention to Sirius, “how’re you feeling?”

Sirius shrugged, chewing on his lip. Remus looked up to catch a brief flash of worry in James’ eye and felt his gut twist uncomfortably. “I don’t blame you, I bet James’ company has been driving you mad.”

Sirius grinned even as James complained, “hey, I’ll have you know my company is awesome.”

The two bantered back and forth as Sirius completely relaxed into Remus’ side. His friend’s voices drawing him into unconsciousness, safe in the knowledge that they were there, that they’d protect him.

…

He half woke to their quiet voices some time later, aware that his head was still resting on Remus’ chest, someone’s hand carding through his hair.

“How is he really?”

He heard James sigh, “I don’t know. He won’t talk at all, he hasn’t said a single bloody thing since he got here. The only noise he makes is when he screams at his nightmares. Scared me to death this morning, I went to get a drink and when I turned around he was stood behind me. I’ve never known him to move so quietly.”

He felt Remus’ arms tighten around him a little. “You know, when I first got bitten, I stopped talking for a while. I’d gotten it into my head that if he couldn’t hear me, then the wolf wouldn’t come back to hurt me again.”

“You think that’s what this is?” James asked carefully.

“I don’t know. But I can imagine the easiest way for him not to draw attention to himself in that house would’ve been to stay quiet.”

“Moony- I- What do we do? I hate seeing him like this.”

“So do I.” Sirius felt guilt twist in his stomach, he was worrying his friends, that was unacceptable. “I guess we just act normally, and hope that he starts to as well. And if he doesn’t, then we’ll have to learn sign language or something.” Sirius smiled, warmed to know they’d go through the trouble for him.

He let out a yawn and his friends stopped talking as he sat up and rubbed at his eyes.

“Morning sleepy head.” James greeted him, Sirius stuck his tongue out at him.

“Boys tea’s ready!” Mrs Potter called up the stairs.

James immediately bounded to the door. Sirius rolled his eyes as he shuffled to the edge of the bed, his muscles still sore from walking so far. Remus held out his hand and helped Sirius to stand, aware that his injuries would make it difficult to walk.

Sirius squeezed his hand in thanks as he used Moony’s arm to help him walk. “It’s okay Pads, you’ve done the same for me a million times,” Remus said, knowing perfectly well what the squeeze meant. Sirius smiled and unthinkingly kissed Moony on the cheek as he was helped down the stairs. Remus’ eyes widened a little, but he didn’t say anything.

“You lot have been quiet,” Mr Potter greeted them as they entered the kitchen, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. “What have you been up to?” He had received far too many letters from their head of house to believe that silence was anything but bad news from this particular group of boys.

“Nothing!” James exclaimed, falling into the seat beside his father, “Sirius fell asleep again!”

Sirius looked down at the table, afraid of the attention. Moony snorted as he sat beside him. “You just talk too much James. There’s only so much a bloke can take listening to you drone on about how beautiful Evans’ eyes are.”

“Evans? Who is this James?” Mr Potter asked.

James blushed profusely and both Sirius and Remus grinned. “No one dad,” he whined.

Sirius raised his eyebrows as Remus exclaimed, “No one! Wow, you sure spend a lot of time mooning after her for a no-one Prongs.”

Mr Potter chuckled as James spluttered, “I- you- Shut up Moony.”

“It’s about time you got yourself a girlfriend James,” Mrs Potter said, winking at Remus as she placed a plate in front of him.

“She’s not my girlfriend!” James exclaimed, muttering “yet” under his breath, causing everyone to crack up.

“Here you are love,” Mrs Potter said, placing another plate down in front of Sirius and stroking the back of his hair. He smiled up at her in thanks and she squeezed his shoulder.

They all tucked into dinner, the Potters chatting to Remus as they ate, laughing at Sirius as he began to fall asleep in his dinner.

“You can’t be tired again!” James complained. Sirius shrugged apologetically.

“You’d be tired too if you’d ran half the length of the country James.” Mr Potter berated him.

“Do you want me to help you upstairs?” Remus asked. Sirius bit his lip, looking at Remus’ half-finished dinner. “It’s okay, I can eat it later,” he said, reading the hesitation. Sirius nodded and pushed himself away from the table, allowing Remus to help him up.

They went straight to the guest room Sirius had been staying in and Remus helped him into the bed, sitting on top of the covers by his knees.

“Pads?” Sirius looked up at him, Remus smiled sadly, “I know you don’t want to talk about what happened. And that’s okay, I don’t mind if you never make another sound. It’d be a shame though, I do love hearing you laugh.” Sirius’ lips twisted in amusement. “I want you to know that I’m here for you, no matter what, okay? And I know you know you’re safe here.” He reached out to take his hand and squeezed it. Sirius felt tears rise unbidden to his eyes. “I’m guessing you don’t want to talk because that’s what got you so hurt, but you know we’re used to your back talking and couldn’t care less, in fact, I’m pretty sure James encourages it. And the Potters are far too used to James to let any noise you or I make bother them.”

Sirius huffed a laugh as the tears spilled over and Moony immediately pulled him into his arms, letting him sob uncontrollably into his shirt. “I’ve got you. I know you’re not okay Siri, but you will be, I promise.” Sirius nodded into his chest as he clutched at him. Remus stopped talking then, just held him tightly, rocking him slightly until he fell asleep in his arms.


	2. Chapter 2

James came in to check on them an hour after they had left and smiled at the sleeping forms of his two best friends, he crept back downstairs.

“Are they okay?” his mother asked.

“They’re asleep. Looks like Pads wore himself out crying.”

“That’s something,” his father said. It was the most emotional response they’d gotten out of him.

“Yeah,” James said, sitting beside his mother and leaning his head on her shoulder. “I knew Moony would be able to talk to him.”

“Are they… dating?” his mother asked curiously.

“What?” James asked, sitting up abruptly, “Moony and Pads? They’re both blokes!”

“So?” his mum asked, amused.

“No, they’re not- at least I don’t-” He spluttered.

“I have to admit, I have been wondering too,” his father said.

“Why?” James asked.

“They seem very close. He took him off to bed when he could see he was tired. Kept changing the subject if he started to look uncomfortable…”

“That’s just how they are,” James shrugged, “they both get nightmares, usually wake each other up from them. They’re just good at comforting each other.”

“Hmm,” his dad said.

“What? There is no way they’re dating.” James exclaimed to his parents amused chuckles.

…

The following morning Mrs Potter knocked on the guest room door. “Come in,” Remus called out sleepily.

“Good morning,” she greeted the boys as she walked in.

“Morning Mrs Potter,” Remus smiled at her, nudging Sirius awake with his foot. Sirius groaned and pulled the quilt up over his head, making the other two chuckle.

“Not really a morning person, is he?”

“You should see him at school,” Remus responded fondly, “Practically have to throw a bucket of ice at him to get him conscious for lessons.”

Mrs Potter shook her head. “It’s a wonder you don’t leave them all in bed,” she said exasperated, knowing that James and Peter were just as bad.

“What kind of prefect would that make me?” he asked innocently, before he turned back to Sirius, “Pads, you’ve got to wake up, Mrs Potter’s here to stab at your war wounds.”

She raised an eyebrow at that, she’d never said, but Remus just shrugged at her with half a smile on his lips.

He prodded at Sirius’ hip again. “C’mon lazy arse. Or do I have to tell Prongs it was you who wrote that love letter to Lily?” Sirius immediately sat up and glared at Remus, who laughed and shrugged at him, “What? It got you up didn’t it?”

Sirius huffed a laugh and swatted the side of his head. Remus ducked and threw a pillow at his face.

Mrs Potter chuckled at their antics. “Charlus is serving breakfast if you want to go down Remus. You didn’t eat much last night.”

Sirius immediately looked guilty and Remus rolled his eyes, throwing another pillow at him upon seeing the expression. “Oh, shut up Pads, you’ve missed more than enough meals for me.” He stood up and pulled a jumper over his head. “Thank you Mrs Potter.” He said before leaving the room.

Sirius rolled his eyes fondly at his friends retreating back.

“Morning love,” Mrs Potter said, now that he was looking more awake. “How’re you feeling?” She sat beside him as he shrugged, holding his hand out in the ‘so-so’ symbol and she nodded. “Remus seems to have knocked some life back into you.” He smiled at her. “Tell me, are you two dating?”

Sirius’ eyes went wide as his cheeks flushed furiously red and he shook his head. She smiled at his horror and tilted her head. “Do you want to be?” He just bit his lip, eyes jumping from her face to his lap to the door and back again, as though he was contemplating escape. She smiled again and patted his knee, “don’t worry, I won’t tell.” He huffed out a relieved breath even as she winked at him. 

“Shall we take a look at these injuries then so we can go get some food?” Sirius pouted but allowed her to remove his shirt.

She checked all his cuts, rubbing dittany into a few and smoothing fresh bandages over them before helping him to get dressed. “There you are love, few more days and you’ll be good as new.” Sirius smiled and pulled her into a hug unexpectedly. She squeezed back, trying to convey all the love she had for him into the embrace. She did consider him her second son after all.

“You’re welcome,” she said, knowing he’d done it in thanks, she kissed the top of his head. “What do you say we go get some breakfast before James eats it all?” He huffed out a laugh and nodded, allowing her to help him up.


	3. Chapter 3

The boys spent the day in the garden, throwing a ball around from their broomsticks, until Sirius’ back started hurting too much and they had to retreat inside. Once inside Sirius started to nod off again, so they helped him up to bed. Remus sat on the bed next to him, allowing him to curl into his side as he read to him from tales of beedle the bard, something his mother had always done for him when he was feeling ill after a particularly bad moon.

James wrote a letter to Flourish & Blotts to order another book while they were occupied.

When Sirius woke up Remus handed him a small note book and a pen. “Just in case you want to tell James he’s being a moron without actually saying anything.” He winked as James exclaimed, “Hey!”

Sirius immediately opened the first page to scribble, “Thank you,” and showed it to Moony.

“Any time.” He squeezed his shoulder, “you’d do the same for me. Hell, you’ve done more for me.” Sirius nodded and hugged him.

“Get a room you two,” James complained.

Sirius blushed even as Remus replied, “we have a room, you are in it.”

“Ah, but they’re all my rooms,” James said cockily, wiggling his eyebrows.

“No, this is Sirius’ room love,” his mother interrupted, coming in with a tray of sandwiches and a parcel under her arm.

Sirius looked up at her surprised. “Well, we can’t keep calling it the guest room if you’re staying in it permanently now can we?”

It was lucky that she’d put her tray down in that moment because she suddenly found herself with an armful of teenage boy hugging her. She chuckled and hugged him back, saddened to realise he must’ve been expecting to be kicked out.

He pulled away with teary eyes and held up a notebook to a page that simply said “thank you.”

She smiled and patted his cheek. “You are quite welcome dear. Now why don’t you all tuck into those sandwiches, hmm?” She asked, turning to leave. “Oh, James, this arrived for you.” She handed the package to her son, who grinned.

“Wicked, thanks mum.” And tore into the wrapping immediately. Shaking her head at his enthusiasm she left the room, wanting to be able to deny all knowledge if it turned out to be a prank that caused havoc at school.

“What is it Prongs?” Remus asked, peering over his shoulder.

“Something for Pads,” he said happily as he surveyed the sign-language book he had ordered.

Sirius looked at him curiously. James smiled and handed it to him. “Just in case. I thought we could all learn, that way you can still talk to us, even if you don’t feel like speaking,” he explained.

Sirius stared down at the book in his hands and felt his heart twist, he looked up into his friends eager faces and felt tears spilling from his eyes again. James rolled his eyes and pulled him into a hug. “C’mon little brother, you had to have seen that one coming.” Sirius choked on a laugh and buried his face into James’ shoulder.

They spent the rest of the summer teaching themselves to sign, quickly becoming fluent. James’ parent had to learn so that they could understand the conversations the three of them held, just in case they were planning to burn the house down. Not that they didn’t trust them.

Eventually Remus had to go home, but he continued to practice with his own parents and they sent an extra copy of the book to Peter, explaining what’d happened so he wouldn’t be left out when they went back to school.

“What are you going to do when we go back to Hogwarts?” James asked Sirius a few days before they were due to catch the train. He’d been afraid to bring it up, knowing Sirius would find it hard to follow the classes if he couldn’t say the spells out loud.

Sirius shrugged and signed, “Learn non-verbal spells.”

James smiled at his confidence. “I’m sure we’ll work it out, yeah.”


	4. Chapter 4

Sirius was tense and nervy on the platform, it was the first time he’d been off the Potters property since he’d run away. James swallowed his pride and held onto Sirius’ hand as he guided him through the crowd, pulling him into a compartment at the emptiest end of the train. Sirius curled up in the corner and peered at James over his knees.

“It’s alright Pads, we’ll be leaving soon.”

Sirius nodded and signed, “Where’s Remus?”

James frowned and stuck his head into the corridor. “I guess he’s with the prefects?” Sirius nodded and wrapped his arms around his knees. James sighed, he missed the old, overconfident Sirius, he missed his voice.

“Any idea what our first prank of the year should be?” he asked, if only to see his trade-mark grin. Sirius didn’t fail to deliver it and James’ anxiety abated a little, this was still Sirius, he’d still be happy to cause mayhem with him even if he did it silently. 

“Hey guys,” Peter greeted them, pulling his trunk into the compartment, “how’re you?” he asked.

“Hey Peter,” James greeted him at the same time that Sirius signed it. Peter stared at him for a moment, colouring slightly.

“I didn’t realise you were serious, I thought you guys were pranking me with that book!” Peter squeaked.

Sirius rolled his eyes and signed, “I’m always Sirius.” James snorted.

“What, what did he say?” Peter demanded.

“He’s always Sirius,” James translated, rolling his eyes. Neither of them were that surprised that Peter hadn’t learned to sign of his own accord, so they weren’t angry at him. “Pads, you know that joke isn’t any funnier in sign than it is when you say it?”

Sirius just grinned and shrugged.

“Looks like you’ve got some catching up to do Peety, Sirius hasn’t spoken a word since he moved in with me.”

Peter’s eyes widened. “But how’re you going to perform magic?” he asked.

Sirius rolled his eyes and pulled out his wand. Pointing it at Peter he turned the boy’s hair purple without uttering a single word. 

“We’ve been learning non-verbal magic,” James explained.

“But he didn’t do anything,” Peter said, confused. James just snorted, deciding the worm deserved the prank for not learning to sign, as asked.

When Remus entered an hour later he didn’t even bat an eye at Peter’s hair colour. “You didn’t learn to sign then?” he asked by way of greeting.

“How’d you know?” Peter asked, eyes widening.

“Call it intuition,” Remus said wryly as he sat beside a smirking Sirius. He signed “are you alright” to him. Sirius nodded and squeezed his shoulder. Remus smiled at him before turning back to Peter, “how was your summer?”

“Not as eventful as all of yours…” Peter commented, before regaling a tale of his visit to Spain.


	5. Chapter 5

Lily scowled at Black across the table. The boy wasn’t speaking, but was flailing his hands in the air above his plate, causing Potter, who had annoyingly sat next to her, to laugh. 

“What’re you doing Black?” she asked suspiciously. Sirius flushed as she spoke and immediately dropped his hands to his lap.

“Don’t call him that,” Potter said sharply. She raised her eyebrows; he’d never taken that tone with her before.

“Why not, it’s his name,” she bristled, seeing anger in Potter’s face.

Sirius sighed and signed “it’s not her fault, she doesn’t know.”

James frowned. “You want me to tell her?” he asked in a much softer tone. Sirius bit his lip but nodded, leaning closer to Remus as he did so.

Lily watched the scene perplexed as Remus wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

James nodded and took a deep breath. “Sirius ran away from home during the summer after his bitch of a mother tortured him. He hasn’t spoken since. So if you must speak to him, please don’t use that name.”

“I-” Lily said, at loss for words. She’s never heard Potters voice so caring, never seen Sirius look so small and broken or Remus more protective as he whispered something into the mute’s ear. “Of course, I’m sorry Sirius. I just assumed you were up to something, with your track record you can hardly blame me.”

Sirius smirked and signed something, James smirked in response. “He said, ‘who’s to say I’m not up to something’.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “At least wait till the first years are in their dorms before you lot cause chaos.”

Four pairs of innocent eyes looked up at her. She rolled her eyes, not in the least bit surprised, although she wondered why it amused her now rather than irritated her as the merry band of marauders usually did.

“Remus,” she said pleadingly, he was a prefect after all.

“Yes Lily?” He grinned and she rolled her eyes, hiding her surprise as she noticed he was holding hands with Sirius under the table.

She sighed, “I’d ask you to control your friends, but if you haven’t managed it in five years I suppose it’s too much to ask.”

The boys all cracked up and she smiled in response.

“I don’t know what to say Lils, my disapproval just seems to fall on deaf ears.”

James snorted, “Yeah, cause you’re completely innocent in our pranks Mr Perfect Prefect.”

“Exactly.” Remus nodded proudly.

At the end of the feast Remus seemed reluctant to leave Sirius’ side. Sirius himself had gone slightly pale, but he signed “go, I’m fine” to Remus who squeezed his hand and nodded, shooting a meaningful look at James over the table before leaving with Lily to lead the first years.

James sidled up to Sirius and clapped him on the shoulder, “let’s go to bed mate, I’m beat.”

Sirius grinned and allowed himself to be swept out of the hall by his friend, pushing down the anxiety that was still gripping him from being in such a crowded place.

“Oi Black!” someone yelled across the room. He flinched and continued walking, trying to ignore it. “Heard you got kicked out of your house. ‘bout time they realised what a blood traitor scum you are.”

Sirius felt James tense at his side and gripped his wand tightly beneath his robes.

Someone laughed, high and cold, the noise shot straight through him. “They didn’t kick him out, he ran away with his tail between his legs, like a scared little mutt.” He recognized Bellatrix’s voice. “Oh, dear cousin,” she called, “auntie Walburga is so relieved she doesn’t have to put up with your worthless ass anymore.”

Something snapped inside Sirius and he whirled, aiming his wand at his cousin. The crowd parted quickly, forming a circle around the two Blacks.

“Shut up Bellatrix!” James shouted, aiming his own wand at Malfoy, who had been the first to speak.

Bellatrix cackled. “Oh, is he your new mouth piece Sirius? Did auntie Walburga cut that insolent tongue out of your mouth?”

Sirius glared at her and sent a hex at her before she had time to react, freezing her face mid-laugh.

“What is going on here?” Professor McGonagall said, pushing her way through the crowd.

She took one look at Sirius, panting harshly with his wand still held out, as frozen in place as his cousin now was and sighed.

“Mr Black, kindly put your wand down.” He didn’t move. His hands were shaking as he stared unseeingly at his cousin whose face resembled his mother’s as she’d cackled over his tortured and bleeding body.

“Pads.” James’ voice brought him back to reality as he pushed his hand down gently. He blinked and looked around, noticing the stares of all his class mates. He shrunk a little closer to James.

“I want you all to go to your dormitories immediately. Mr Black, you’re coming with me. Mr Pettigrew, I trust you will have your hair back to school regulation by the morning.”

Peter squeaked from the other side of James, surprised at being singled out. Neither of his friends could even find their own prank funny in that moment and James stepped forward to defend Sirius.

“Professor, it’s not his fault, he was-”

“I know perfectly well what happened Mr Potter. I suggest you go to your dorm immediately.” She gave him a stern look.

James looked at Sirius with questioning eyes. Sirius bit his lip and nodded slightly. James squared his jaw and nodded, squeezing his shoulder as he gripped Peter’s upper arm and steered them both away. The other students quickly dispersed.

McGonagall turned to perform the counter curse on Bellatrix. “Good evening Miss Black,” she said as she unfroze, “you have detention with Mr Filch tomorrow at eight pm.”

“What, but professor-”

“I suggest you report to your dorm immediately before I make it every night this week,” she said, not in the mood for arguments. Bellatrix scowled but turned on her heel and headed for the dungeons.

“If you will follow me Mr Black,” she said in a much kinder voice.

Sirius’ eyes widened at the tone, but he followed her to her office. She sat behind the desk and pointed at the vacant chair. Sirius sat down numbly.

“I have to apologize to you Mr Bl- Sirius,” she said, gazing at him over her entwined fingers. 

Sirius stared at her, dumbfounded. He’d been half convinced she was about to expel him, why on earth was she apologizing?

“Are you aware that Mrs Potter wrote to the school with regards to the events that occurred during the summer?” Sirius swallowed and nodded. “It is my job to look after my students and it has become quite clear to me that I have in fact failed you.”

Sirius shook his head. It wasn’t her fault. She couldn’t have done anything. Besides he’d never said anything, not even to James, how was she supposed to have known?

“She also wrote to inform me that you haven’t spoken a word since. Is that true?” The sad look she was giving him made his gut twist uncomfortably. He nodded.

“May I ask why?” she asked gently.

Sirius brought his hands up to sign, then realised she wouldn’t understand, so he patted his pockets to find the notebook Moony had given him and scribbled, “I can’t. I’ve tried, but I just can’t.”

She frowned at the words. “Did someone put a silencio charm on you?”

He shook his head and wrote, “It just doesn’t feel right. I can’t explain it.”

She sighed. “You will find it hard to keep up with the workload this year if you can’t even say spells.”

Sirius bit his lip and wrote, “non-verbal?”

She nodded, “you will be learning those later in the year. And with your aptitude for advanced magic I have no doubt that you will be able to do it. I could see about getting you some extra tutoring.”

Sirius fished his wand from his robes and pointed it at a teacup on her desk, effortlessly turning it into a ferret and back again before the creature could react.

She smiled. “I see you’ve already been practicing.” He nodded. “Very well, we shall see how you get on and go from there. I think you should go to your dormitory, it will be a long day tomorrow.”

Sirius raised his eyebrows and wrote, “no detention?”

She smiled in amusement. “I think we can let it slide, just this once.”

Sirius grinned and jumped to his feet, he knew she had a soft spot for him. “Just don’t make a habit of it,” she said sternly and Sirius grinned at her.

She couldn’t find it within herself to worry about the chaos that grin often caused, too relieved to see a glimmer of the bright mischievous boy she had known for the past five years.

Sirius walked up to the common room quickly and then found himself at a dilemma as he came across the fat lady. How was he supposed to give the password if he couldn’t speak? He tried signing it to her, but she just blinked at him uncomprehendingly, so he tried writing it and showing her.

“I’m afraid you are supposed to say it dear,” she said. 

Sirius threw his hands up in the air in frustration and kicked at the wall, sending pain shooting through his foot. He hopped around for a minute before sitting on the floor in front of her and looking up at her pleadingly.

He didn’t know how long he sat there before the portrait suddenly swung open and James stepped out, calling back into the room, “I’ll find him,” but tears had been threatening for at least five minutes.

He leapt to his feet and wrapped his arms around James gratefully.

“Oh,” James exclaimed, collapsing under his weight. “Well that was easy. How long have you been out here?”  
Sirius let go of him to sign, “I don’t know.”

“You don’t- well why didn’t you just come in?” he asked perplexed as he got to his feet. Sirius waved his arms around exasperatedly and pointed at the once again closed portrait. James frowned and turned around, the look of comprehension dawning on his face. “Oh, well that’s going to be a problem.”

Sirius crossed his arms over his chest, shrinking in on himself a little. “Hey, don’t do that, we’ll figure it out.” He swung his arm around Sirius’ shoulder and gave the password, leading him inside. “Tomorrow though, you know how grumpy Moony gets when he hasn’t slept.”

Sirius laughed silently and scrubbed a hand at his wet eyes.

“Hey, look who I found on the doorstep,” James called out cheerfully as they entered the common room. Peter startled awake from his slumped position in the arm chair, his hair returned to its usual mousy blond, and Remus stood up, closing the book he had been reading. Sirius felt warmed to know they had waited up for him.

Remus took one look at Sirius and frowned. “Are you okay?”

Sirius shrugged a little, unsure of his own feelings. Moony pulled him into a warm hug and Sirius melted into the embrace, his arms coming round to clutch at the back of Remus’ shirt as the tears that had been threatening began to fall. Remus only tightened his own grip in response. “It’s okay,” he whispered into his hair, “I’ve got you. C’mon, let’s go up to bed.”

Sirius nodded into his shoulder, feeling ridiculous for his tears but unwilling to let Remus go. So Remus led him to their dorm blindly and helped him to change, pulling him into bed with him, never once breaking their contact. “I’ve got you Siri. You can let go now,” he whispered, pressing a kiss into his hair. And Sirius sobbed into his shoulder as he had the first night he’d come to visit at the Potters. Remus just held him through it, stroking his back and whispering soft assurances into his hair until finally, exhausted, Sirius fell into a peaceful sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

The first lesson they had the following day was Transfiguration. Sirius found himself relieved about that for the first time in his life, it would mean he didn’t have to explain his silence to anyone. If any of the class mentioned it they found themselves at the receiving end of not only James and Remus’ glares, but that stern disapproving look of McGonagall’s that often preluded a month’s detention.

Sirius found himself able to relax in his seat between his two best friends, falling easily back into their old patterns of practicing spells and joking about. 

At the end of the lesson Remus broke away to speak to the Professor. “I’ll meet you in History, I want to ask McGonagall something.”

“Already?” James asked, “she didn’t even give us any homework yet Moony.” 

Sirius grinned and signed, “he’s looking for extra credit.”

Remus rolled his eyes, “yeah, yeah, just get lost.”

Once they’d gone Remus approached the teacher’s desk. “Is something wrong Mr Lupin?” She asked.

“Um, yeah,” he began, unsure how to tell her.

“Well?” she asked, fixing her piercing gaze on him.

“Sirius can’t get into the common room,” he explained.

“Why not?”

“He can’t say the password,” Remus said, frowning as he assumed that was obvious. “James found him sitting outside the portrait last night, he’d tried signing and writing it down but she wouldn’t open.”

McGonagall sighed as she sat down behind her desk. “Why didn’t I think of that before I sent him off alone?”

Remus just stared at her, a little taken aback by the emotion she was showing. “It’s not really your fault Professor, none of us thought about that, and it is a bit of an unusual situation.”

She nodded and straightened up. “Very well, thank you for bringing this to my attention Mr Lupin, I will speak to the headmaster about it.”

“Thank you.”

She nodded. “I trust you are looking after him, Mr Lupin?” 

“Of course,” Remus said, slightly affronted that she’d consider he’d do anything less.

She smiled. “I suggest you go off to your next lesson before you are late.”

Remus nodded and went to join his friends in class.

…

Their final lesson of the day Sirius was dreading. It was Potions, which he hated, with Professor Slughorn, whom hated him. He sat in his usual seat and tried pay attention.

“Now, who can tell me what this potion is most used for?” Slughorn asked looking around the room, his eyes fell on Sirius who was staring blankly at the front of the room. “Mr Black?” he asked, ignoring the several raised hands around them.

Sirius jolted and looked up at the Professor, then grabbed his quill and started scribbling the answer down.

“Answer my question Mr Black,” Slughorn said.

“He’s writing it down,” James came to his defence.

“Well I didn’t ask him to write it down, I asked him to answer the question,” the potbellied man blustered. Sirius glanced up from his paper to see anger in the man’s face. “Well?” He asked.

Sirius held the paper up silently. Slughorn snatched it out of his hand and tore it up, crossing his arms as he waited for Sirius to speak. Sirius clenched his jaw and stared at him defiantly.

The professor returned to his desk and scribbled something, sealing it and coming back to Sirius and James’ desk at the back of the room. “Take this to your head of house, I can’t be doing with your insolent attitude this year so you’d better buck your ideas up. You have detention this evening, report here after dinner.”

“Professor that’s not fair! He didn’t-”

“Silence Potter.”

“Professor,” Remus said, standing up.

“Sit down, Mr Lupin. Mr Black I believe I asked you to leave.” 

Sirius grabbed the note from his desk and shoved away from it, stalking out of the class room angrily, letting the door slam behind him. He speed walked all the way to McGonagall’s office, anger pouring through him at the unfairness of it. He hadn’t done anything wrong. 

He paced outside of the door for a minute, too angry to sit in front of McGonagall who, despite the pranks he and the marauders frequently pulled on her, Sirius believed deserved his respect. She wouldn’t get it if he went in there in this mood.

After a few minutes he realised he wasn’t going to calm down as his freakin’ screwed up emotions had him on the verge of tears again. He huffed out a breath and angrily rubbed at his eyes before knocking on her door.

“Come in,” Her cool voice invited.

Sirius stormed into the room and flopped into the chair in front of her desk, handing her the note and glaring at the floor by his feet.

“Mr Black,” she said, surprised. Sirius didn’t respond, fighting back the angry tears. He stiffened as he heard her open the note. She sighed. “It says here you were refusing to answer Professor Slughorn’s question after not listening?”

Sirius shook his head and took out his note book, writing angrily, “I was paying attention, I wrote the answer down for him but he tore it up asking me to say it. James and Remus tried to explain but he wouldn’t listen to them.”

“I’m sorry Sirius.” Sirius frowned and looked up, why did she keep apologizing to him? “I haven’t had the chance to brief all of the staff on your situation yet as it is only the first day. You don’t have to do the detention, I will talk to him.”

Sirius smiled a little and nodded. 

“Was there anything else?”

He nodded and wrote, “I can’t get past the fat lady.”

“Ah, yes, Mr Lupin made me aware of that this morning. I have spoken with the headmaster and he has charmed the portrait to respond to your sign-language.”

Sirius’ eyes lit up and he flipped the notebook back to the very first thing he had written in it. She smiled, “you’re welcome. Now why don’t you go off to dinner while I go and have a word with Professor Slughorn?” 

Sirius nodded and stood, leaving the office with a wave over his shoulder.


	7. Chapter 7

Life at school went on. Everyone seemed to forget the peculiarity of a silent Sirius and moveed on with their lives. The Marauders pranks became more advance and harder to pin the blame on owing to the fact they could now communicate silently and cast spells without speaking.

Sirius became more himself, comfortable now he was no longer the centre of the gossip and rumours as people wondered why he no longer talked. The Slytherin’s got bored of teasing him, particularly as every time they did all of their robes would mysteriously turn pink, or their knives and forks would start trying to cut them up at the dinner table, or, James’ personal favourite, the puddings would dump themselves on their heads anytime they picked up a water goblet up.

It was mid-December by now and Sirius’ day had been going rather well. He had woken up in Moony’s bed once again, having crawled into it in the middle of the night to shake off his nightmares. Remus had just shifted over, wrapped an arm around his waist and kissed his forehead before allowing sleep to take over again. Butterfly’s fluttered around in Sirius’ stomach and he felt a bloom of warmth in his chest, just as always whenever Remus was touching him these days, and he snuggled happily into the embrace.

He’d walked to breakfast laughing and joking with his friends, and even managed to eat his favourite- scrambled eggs- before the morning post arrived.  
But then one particular, evil looking owl had swooped down from the ceiling to land in front of him. He felt his insides turn cold and the noise of the Great Hall became muffled as it stared at him, a scroll of parchment sealed to its leg.

“Pads,” he heard someone call distantly. “Pads,” a hand on his shoulder jerked him back to reality as he looked at James. “Are you okay?”

He nodded stiffly and quickly unfastened the letter from the bird’s leg. It bit at his finger, but he pulled back before it could get him and shoed it away.

He stared at the Black family seal for a moment, dread flooding through him before he sighed and opened it. He hadn’t had any contact with any of his family since the night he’d left.

 

Sirius,  
Just to inform you your Great Uncle Alphard passed away two days ago. The funeral is on Saturday and as it is for family members only, you are not welcome to attend. If you should try you will be treated as the blood traitor we all know you to be.  
Walburga.

 

Sirius’ hands began to shake violently as he read the words, his breath whooshing out of him. Dead. Alphard. Dead. His only family that ever cared about him.

“Siri, are you okay?” Remus asked quietly.

Sirius jerked away from the table, leaving the letter scrunched up on his empty plate as he bolted from the room.

He had no idea how he got there, but he found himself curled up on his dorm floor, hyperventilating with his knees bent to his chest as he rocked back and forth frantically.

He wasn’t wanted. No one wants him. They all hate him. He has no family. Alphard is dead. Blood traitor. Scum. He’d disappointed them all and now they hated him.

“Sirius.” A warm hand pressed to his shoulder. “Sirius, look at me.” He vaguely recognized Remus’ voice behind the roaring in his ears and obeyed it unthinkingly. Remus smiled at him and knelt in front of him. “Hello there. You’re having a panic attack Siri, you need to calm down. I need you to take a deep breath for me.”

Sirius did as he asked, because it was Moony. “That’s it, and out again.” Sirius released the breath and felt himself relax slightly. “Good. Breath in.” As he followed the instructions Remus started stroking his cheek, wiping stray tears away. “And out.” After a few minutes of this Sirius came back to himself and uncurled a little.

Remus smiled. “That’s better. How’re you feeling?” 

“Shaky,” he signed.

Remus nodded and handed him a glass of water. “Here, this’ll help. Do you want to tell me what this was about?”

Sirius scrubbed at his eyes, then signed, “Alphard’s dead. They don’t want me at the funeral. They all hate me. I’m a blood traitor and they hate me and no one wants me.”

“Hey,” Remus said, “that’s not true. All that blood traitor stuff is bullshit. If anything they betrayed you with the way they treated you. And who cares if they don’t want you anyway. We want you. James and Peter and the Potters.” He reached out to take Sirius’ hands, his voice becoming unbearably soft as he swallowed and said, “I want you.”

Sirius’ eyes went wide and he took his hands back to sign, “you want me?”

Remus nodded. “Very much.”

“I want you too,” Sirius signed, his eyes wide as he took in Remus’ relived smile.

He reached forward tentatively and asked, “Can I- can I kiss you?” 

Sirius nodded, still not quite sure this was happening as Remus, gentle, kind, adorable Remus, reached out to cup his face.

“Sirius,” he breathed out his name as he leant forward and their lips met in an unbearably sweet kiss. Sirius’ eyes fluttered shut as he kissed back.

They broke apart and looked at each other, a bright smile flashing across both of their faces.

Sirius swallowed as he stared into those brilliant eyes and suddenly, for the first time in months, felt the urge to talk.

He took a breath and his voice cracked as he whispered, “Moony.”

Remus gasped, amber eyes going wide. “Did you just-”

At Sirius’ nod he grinned and pulled him in for another kiss. This kiss was not sweet, it was fast and strong and filled with teeth and tongues. As he pulled back Remus whispered, “God, I love you.”

And Sirius felt his heart swell as he managed to speak again, “I love you too.”


	8. Chapter 8

With his panic attack and the two of them consequently declaring their love for one another Sirius and Remus managed to miss the entire morning of classes. They made their way down to lunch together, hand in hand and grinning like idiots.

They made their way to their usual spot at the Gryffindor table and James promptly stood up. “Hey, are you guys alri-”

Sirius held a hand out to stop him and jumped up onto the middle of the table, pulling Remus up with him, who was now blushing profusely.

Sirius grinned at him, winked, then yelled at the top of his lungs, “Oi tossers!”

The entire room seemed to go silent as they gaped at the boy who’d been mute for six months. 

“Thought you’d like to know that Remus Lupin here is my boyfriend,” he declared, before pointing his finger out threateningly, “so keep your hands to yourself.”

He gave a pointed look at Marlene Mckinnon who’d been using the opportunity to gawk at Remus’ butt. The grinned and pulled a very pink faced Remus in for a kiss.

The whole room erupted into cheers as they pulled apart and they grinned at each other. He glanced at James who was staring at them, his jaw flapping like it’d been unhinged. Peter was standing beside him looking just as dumbstruck.

“Mr Black, Mr Lupin, get down from the table this instant!” Professor McGonagall said, coming down the aisle towards them. Sirius grinned and jumped down, holding out a hand to help Remus and keeping hold of it once he was safely by his side.

“Sorry Professor,” Sirius said brightly.

She glared at him, but he could see the proud glint behind the stern outer appearance and the slight twitch to her lips.

“Detention for disturbing lunch and missing your morning lessons,” she said.

“Yes Professor,” Remus said, trying to look contrite, but not quite managing it as Sirius exclaimed, “Oh, come on Professor, didn’t you miss my beautiful voice?”

She smiled at him. “I have a feeling I’ll live to regret this, but yes, I did Mr Black. Twenty points to Gryffindor, for finding your voice. And ten to you Mr Lupin, for helping him find it.” They grinned at her and Remus squeezed Sirius’ hand. “Now I expect to see you both in class this afternoon, and you will be contacted regarding your detentions.”

“Yes Professor,” they chorused. She nodded at that and turned on her heel.

They grinned at each other, then went to face their friends, taking their usual seats opposite them.

“So,” James said, his jaw reconnected, seeming to have gained a little of his composure. “You’re dating?”

They nodded.

James blew out a breath and they held theirs, worried suddenly that he wouldn’t be okay with it. “Well, mum and dad were right then,” he said, completely throwing them.

“What?” Sirius asked and James grinned.

“They asked if you two were a couple over the summer. I said there was no way…” He trailed off at their wide eyed expressions.

“You’re okay with it though?” Remus asked.

James shrugged. “Sure, you make each other happy.”

“I kind of assumed you were a couple already,” Peter put in.

“Why?” Sirius asked.

“Because you’re always in his bed,” Peter pointed out.

James rolled his eyes and cuffed him round the back of the head. “They have nightmares you dolt.”

“Oh.” Peter coloured slightly.

Sirius grinned, “Yeah, but that was only half the reason I wanted to share a bed with Moony.”

“Thanks for that image Padfoot.” James groaned, rubbing at his eyes as though it would dispel it and Sirius laughed brightly.

“God I’ve missed your laugh,” Remus said.

Sirius turned to him and smiled so warmly that Remus just had to kiss him.

“Ew, get a room you two.” James complained, throwing some crisps at them. They pulled apart laughing and Sirius retaliated with half a pork pie. Things quickly dissolved into a food fight.

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own these characters or the Harry Potter universe.


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